Monday, December 10, 2007

Long Day

Every have one of those days that is so full of activity that you begin to wonder if you survive. I had a day like that but surprisingly it went much better than expected. While I would like to have interviewed today (as opposed to Wednesday) I will be all right. Likewise I found out that I have too take a test on Wednesday that I had completely forgotten. This will be taken directly after I have studied for and taken my math test. Oh my goodness the whole thing is ridiculous. Anyhow, there are far worse problems to have to be dealing with.

I did however learn today that I have amazing friends. People came out of the woodwork to wish me well, and try to bring a smile to my tired and stressed out face. Basically I am feeling very loved. I also sold my housing contract, and so I am now looking for a place to move into. Oh man I have to decide this right away.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

1 am musings

As of 59 minutes ago another beautiful Sabbath began. I cannot help but be giddy every time I gaze out the window. I see the six inch blanket of snow and just smile. Today a friend and I tried to describe the mood that snow creates. The words I came up with were reverent and serene.
Everyday the world is hurried and filled with stress, worry, and just lots of noise. But not today. Today I just enjoyed the snow, learning and wonderful company.
I also enjoyed a bit of theatre. I was fortunate enough to get to see BYU perform Little Women the musical. Its cheesiness sometimes created a bit of uneasiness, but as a whole I adored the performance.
I realize that I probably should retire to bed so that I may rise again to enjoy this beautiful day.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Rantings

I need to write to clear my head

I need to write to get my thoughts in order

I need to write before I burst into tears

My fingers yearn to type out the words of my full and frustrated heart

There are other things I need to do to occupy these precious moments

Responsibilities sit beside me in piles up to my ears

But still I need to write

I need to write

I need to write to keep from crying

I need to write so that I can move on

Perhaps I think that in writing I will be able to decide what it is that I am thinking

Perhaps I just want to write because I do not have someone to listen

Perhaps it is just too hard for me too tell someone how I feel

Perhaps I fear their judgment

Yet I need to write my story

I need to write about my week of smiles, my week of tears, my week of trials

I need to tell someone the thoughts which my spoken words cannot express

I need to write until I can say what I actually need to say

It is odd how I feel better

It is odd because there is not really anything that I have actually said

It is odd because I am not a writer

I rarely feel the need to vent the feelings of my heart and mind on a computer screen

I rarely feel like writing because I worry that it will sound mundane

And still I write

I write

I write

I write

Still not saying anything at all